We're NCIS Not CSI
by Gail Cregg
Summary: Will they ever get the recognition they deserve? Talk of a Deep Six movie sets the office abuzz.
1. Chapter 1

_"NCIS anything like CSI?" "Only if you're dyslexic." Dennis & DiNozzo. Yankee White._

_"Federal authorities? They mean us. Four stinking letters:NCIS." Tony DiNozzo. Shalom._

WE'RE NCIS NOT CSI.

NCIS Squad Room.

"Good morning. I'm calling from NCIS..."  
"Naval Crimminal..."  
"We are the Naval Criminal Investigative..."  
"Have you heard of..."  
"We investigate..."  
"Investigative Service..."  
Several minutes later three phones are slammed down as their owners let out sighs of frustration.  
"You know just once I'd like to make a phone call and have the person know what NCIS stands for and what we do."  
"Ah, McOptimistic do you really think that is ever going to happen?"  
"Maybe." Tony just stares at him as if unable to believe McGee just said that.  
"We have been getting some good press coverage lately" chimes in Ziva.  
"O.K. then why don't we have a bet?"  
"On what?"  
"How long it will take before we find someone in this investigation who knows what NCIS stands for? I mean we have plenty of calls still to make so it shouldn't take that long should it?" He grins.  
"O.K. I'm in. I say it'll take another two hours."  
"No way McGee. I say another three."  
"And I say you're both dreaming and we will finish these calls without finding someone."

NCIS Squad Room. Two hours fifty-five minutes later.

"Starting to get nervous Zee-vah?"  
"No."  
"I think the losers should clean the truck after the next messy crime scene."  
"Well you'd better get some cleaning products on your..." She is interrupted by the ringing of her phone. "Yes?" She listens a moment. "Thank you for calling back Mrs Schiller. As I said in my message I am Agent David with NCIS. That is..." She listens for another moment then gesturing at the guys hits the button to put her phone on speaker. McGee and DiNozzo cross the room to her desk. "I am sorry Mrs Schiller I did not quite hear what you said. Can you repeat that last bit."  
"I said I know exactly what NCIS is young lady. My late husband God rest his poor soul did a lot of work with them. What did you want to know?"  
Ziva grins at her colleagues as she continues "I am wondering if your husband or you know or have had any kind of business with a Lieutenant Commander Wayne Lewis. He is based at Norfolk."  
"Did you say Lieutenant Commander?"  
"Yes."  
"Well I'm afraid you must have mistaken us for someone else dear. I've never been involved in any way with the Navy and my husband wasn't either. He couldn't even swim" she chuckles.  
"Oh but I thought you said you knew what NCIS stood for and that your husband had worked with them?"  
"Yes,the National Crop Insurance Service. My husband and I had quite a large farm and you see..."  
"There obviously has been a mistake.I am sorry to have bothered you ma'am. Have a good day.""Bye." Ziva hits the button to terminate the call then looks up to find her colleagues smiling at her.  
"Told you so."  
"Well I'm sure we'll find someone before the end of our calls. You have not won yet Tony."  
McGee and DiNozzo settle back in at their desks. "Why is this so important to you anyway?"  
"Well probie-one I just think it would be nice if just occasionally, not every time just every now and again we got some credit for the work we do. I mean the FBI, DEA,ICE,ATF even the CIA all get more attention than we do and you know that attention can mean more funding and I just think it would be nice that's all."  
"Hmm."  
"We don't even have our own tv show."  
"What?"  
"Well doctors have ER, medical examiners had Quincy MD, the FBI had the X-Files and Criminal Minds blah,blah, political staffers had The West Wing, spies had The Man From U.N.C.L.E even the navy lawyers got JAG."  
"You are upset because we do not have a tv show?" questions Ziva.  
"Just a little recognition is all I'm saying."  
"Well there has been talk about making a movie out of Deep Six." McGee instantly regrets the words as his colleagues turn to him.  
"A movie about us?"  
"About the characters in my books so..." Tim begins his usual disclaimer then finds he can't finish it. "Yes, Tony all about you."  
"Way to go McWriter. That is so cool."  
"Well done McGee" adds Ziva smiling at him.  
"It's only in the very early stages of discussion though. It might never happen so don't get your hopes up."  
"I wonder who they will get to play me. I mean Agent Tommy. He'd have to be..."  
"Maybe you could." Gibbs walks into the bullpen.  
"But I already have a job." Tony says in a panicked tone.  
"For the moment." Gibbs glares at him.  
"Boss?"  
"Not for much longer if you don't get back to it."  
"Sure." Beginning to sort through the folders on his desk DiNozzo smiles inwardly. Maybe having a book character based on him wasn't such a bad thing after all. As Gibbs settles in at his desk Tony's frustrated voice rings out across the room once more "I said Naval Criminal Investigative Service!"


	2. Chapter 2

*Special Shout Out to Angy for inspiring this follow-up. Kind of.*

NCIS Squad Room. A Few Days later.

"It's a pity Tom Selleck is too old" murmurs Tony as he frowns in concentration and makes a note.  
"Too old for what?" enquires Ziva from across the room as McGee looks over from his desk.  
"To play agent Tommy in the Deep Six movie of course! And any sequels too I guess. I've been thinking about it and I just can't decide who they should get to play me...ah I mean Tommy."  
"Oh."  
"I mean I think he needs to be well known so people come and see the movie but not so well known they come to see him and not the character you know?"  
"I see you've been giving this a lot of thought Tony."  
"I'm thinking maybe Angelina Jolie for Officer Lisa. Sort of sexy but deadly too." He grins mischievously. "Though not as much as you though."  
She glares back at him. "Why exactly are you giving this so much thought?"  
"A we don't have a case and I'm bored and B this movie will be about our lives Lisa so I can think we should give it at least a little consideration."  
"It is not your life Tony."  
"What was that probie?"  
"I said it is not _your_ life Tony. It is Special Agent Tommy's life."  
"Who is based on me so it kinda is my life." Tony glares at him.  
"All I'm saying Tony is don't get your hopes up. The movie probably won't even happen."  
"O.K. O.K." They get back to work.

NCIS Squad Room. The Next Week.

"Naval Criminal Investigative Service..." He slams the phone down. "They hung up on me. Can you believe it?" he asks looking up from his desk as a woman walks into the bull pen.  
"No. I can't." She responds standing there smiling as he checks her out. "Agent McGee?"  
"Senior Field Agent Anthony DiNozzo but you can call me Tony." He smiles rising from his chair and shaking her hand. "Agent McGee is currently out sick but perhaps I can help you?"  
"Renee Peterson. Your Director arranged for Agent McGee or should I say Mr Gemcity to show me around NCIS headquarters to give me a feel for the place. An idea of what it is you do. I guess I'll just have to rearrange."  
"No problem. I'll do it. Your name sounds awfully familiar Ms Peterson. Have we met before?"  
"Renee and I don't think so. I am sure I would have remembered meeting you. You don't seem like the Demented Dead Souls or wildlife type so maybe you caught my film at Sundance a few years ago?"  
"Your film?"  
"Yes, I'm a director and I've directed..." as she continues to talk DiNozzo's brain goes into overdrive. She's a director? That must be why our Director is co-operating with her. And meeting McGee? This must be about the movie. Checking out how we do things. I wonder if she'd give me a small part? If she knows Jessica Alba?  
"Agent DiNozzo?"  
"Sorry. I am a film buff but I'm more into classics so I don't think that's it."  
"Well I did date Harm Rabb for awhile. Do you know him?"  
"Ah, yes." Since she had dated the guy it was probably not a good idea to point out that he did indeed know Rabb. In fact he'd investigated him for murder! Maybe her name had come up in background information or interviews. Time to change the topic. "Right this way Renee. Let the tour begin!"

NCIS Break Room. An Hour Or So Later.

"Hmm. There's not a lot to work with although the lab was quite cool. Maybe when we get out in the field it will be better."  
"The field?"  
"The Director promised full co-operation and that I could shadow you guys and see you in action."  
"Oh, well that could be too dangerous Renee."  
"Really? But you'd protect me wouldn't you Tony?"  
"Sure. So tell me more about yourself."  
"I moved back to Washington two years ago after my marriage broke up and started my own company. We're doing really well and I've two other directors on the payroll but I like to keep my hand in."  
"I bet you do." His phone rings. "Excuse me." He walks away from the table. "DiNozzo."  
"Hey Tony. I forgot to tell you there's this woman coming in today..."  
"I know McGee. I've been showing her round. She's not too bad on the eye either. I've been plying her with the old DiNozzo charm. Who knows she might even give me a part in the movie and..."  
"But Tony..."  
"I know. I know. It might not happen. Bye." He hangs up leaving Tim thinking but she's not there about the movie. Tony walks back to the table.  
"Did you say something about a movie?"  
"Yes. That was Agent McGee just checking you were O.K. I told him I'm taking care of you."  
"And you're doing such a wonderful job." She smiles. "But what does that have to do with a movie?"  
"Aren't you here getting ideas for the Deep Six movie?"  
"No."  
"No? Then why are you here?"  
"I'm directing a recruitment commercial on NCIS. Like I did with JAG. You know. Navy. The Journey Begins Here."  
"Oh. A commercial."  
"Yes." She looks at her watch. "Must fly. Thanks for all your help Tony." She rises and kisses him on the cheek before she leaves. He heads back to the squad room muttering "A commercial. A commercial." He sits back at his desk and begins to think. Brad Pitt would be too handsome...


End file.
